When fate and dreams collide

"If you hold tight, shadows will be lost in the light.
Oh cos sometimes, fate and your dreams will collide."


That was an excerpt from 'Joe Brooks- Holes Inside' that made me think deeply, swirling in my own imagination and swimming in my own thoughts as the traffic moves slowly forward, something that I have been accustomed to accept since I started interning.


As I was listening (besides lip synching / karaoke-ing XD) to this song this morning while hurdling my way to work, a thought occurs...of how things has been going on with me in these past two to three years...

*banyak memikir time dalam kete ye?*

Yelah, it has been established since that this is the space that I spend thinking critically about the things revolving around me, of current issues (especially local political scene), family, friends, relationships,  etc.


I am interested in the line "Oh 'cos sometimes, fate and your dreams will collide" and I find it to be true in my case, particularly in what I aspired to be and sometimes in relationships, too. #trueStory.


See...the thing is, what I am doing right now ; majoring in English whilst minoring in science (that's beside the point) is a far cry from my initial dream of pursuing a medical degree during my high school years.


Yeah sure, almost everyone's dream back then in high school generally revolves around aspiring to be an engineer or a doctor. It's like a state of mind back then, that the ONLY things that you ought to do to become successful in the worldly aspect ( read: duniawi) were to choose between one of these fields.

*of course now when I'm here after getting more exposure, we can also be successful and rich in other fields too* 

But for me, it's a different case indeed. Back then, I aspired to pursue a medical degree partly due to my heritage, besides the lure of fat paycheck that I could possibly earn every month.


Okay, fair enough...


But how does it relate to my heritage?


Being a doctor has been like a 'thing' or tradition that has been passed down from generation to generation in the Low (read: Lau) family, from my great-grandparent, grandfather and to my uncle...it is considered as a tradition for a male member of the Low family to become a doctor. 


Well, as a male grandson and being the first one, I broke the tradition. T.T 


At first, I was devastated honestly, 'cos I could not made it. But then, a sudden realisation hit me like a brick.


I talked to my koong koong (grandfather) of this shattered dream and was terribly sorry that I couldn't make it into medicine. He reciprocated by telling me the life of a doctor isn't that how you'd say, enjoyable...he had to sacrifice his time for family to work, and surprisingly they have never gone on a single holiday as family due to his busyness back then. 


So, that was it. I can still continue the dream of being a doctor though, but a philosophical one la (Phd) - jadi lecturer, or anything. Not bad, good pay also. It means that I'll have to further my study lorh. Let's pray that I will be able to do it. Amin. 


So, what's the point here? 


The message is, whatever the person that you turn out to be, it doesn't matter as long as you enjoy being in that position and at the same time you could invest some time in this very short life that we are in to become a better person (a better Muslim in my case) so that we could prepare ourselves for the afterlife, Insya Allah.

Which one would you choose? 

May everything goes well as I am trod this so-called "Road Not Taken". 


Ends. 

It's one of those days. *sigh*

Assalamualaikum,

A wise Javanese (Jawa) man once told me,

"Ojo diawaki kabeh kui. Akeh meneh arep di ngaji" 

"Usah dilayan semua tu. Banyak lagi (yang) perlu dipelajari" 

In a way, I'm inclined to agree with that statement. 

If, taking into account everything that happens around us, there would be many distractions that could take us off the right track in achieving our dreams. 

Today is not the day that I'm cheerful as usual. I don't know why. But that shouldn't let me down.....

Things are the way they are meant to be. Segalanya sudah tertulis. Just live it up, menghadapilah dengan sikap yang positif. 

Hope days like these will not occur again in the future...hoping (again) that by the end of the day I'll be okay. 

The haze will go away, the sky will be clear and I'll greet that day with a smile across my face. 

Till then....Keep on striving! 

Ends. 

Impian : Satu Perjalanan.

Assalamualaikum, 


Baru sedar aku agak aktif jugak ye buat posting bulan Julai ni. Mungkin nak 'brush-up' writing skills sikit-sikit rasnaya. 


Maka, menari-narilah jari-jemariku di atas papan kekunci ini, menulis apa sahaja yang terbuku di hati. Ok, sastera sikit kan. 


Since this is where I share my dreams, visions, opinions, feelings...yada yada yada therefore ape salahnya letak posting yang ni pulak ,sebagai future reference, as a friendly reminder from my past self here in 2012...kepada myself in the future. Keep it cool bro. 


Whatever you turn out to be when you're reading this, remember your dreams, hope and those things. Keep it alive, keep it real..then realise it. 

Tak pasti lah sama ada post kali ni aku nak share kat facebook ke tak...segan jugak kalau ade orang yang terbaca. Mungkin twitter je kot, due to a narrower viewership... *malu*


Aku ada impian, banyak impian, tapi salah satu yang antaranya agak prominent, mungkin yang ni. 


Ok, here goes. This is my picture of an ideal family yang aku nak wujudkan satu hari nanti, insya Allah. :) 


For starters, small or big family tu tak kesah sangatlah. Rezeki Allah bagi, bersyukur je. Two to four children would be ok, with mixed gender. Ada la kepelbagaian kerenah kan. ^^ 


Then I'm okay with helping my wife around in the house...memang dah terbiasa pun dok kemas2 rumah, sidai baju, dll......tak pun memasak. 


Memasak? Surprise surprise! Aku reti la memasak sikit2..setakat nasi/bihun/mi goreng boleh la...spaghetti, n bende kari2 ni insya Allah beres. So, helping my wife around in the kitchen should be no problem.


It's a good thing too..sebab little things in life like these la yang akan eratkan bond between a husband and a wife. I know it's cheesy, but I can't help it. Itu yang aku nk buat nanti. 


Fair game la..kalo dia keje, aku keje..memasing penat takkan nak suh dia buat sume..kene la tolong sikit2 kan? Kalau dia tak keje pun, I see nothing wrong in helping around the house. Show your love. Help her around the house. *amboih* 


-if you ask me personally, I prefer having my wife not working, tapi regarding this matter, I can compromise la. dah blaja susah2 dpt degree ke pape ke..takkan tak nak keje- 


Oh, and I'll make sure I have a job that can support my family, with me being as the only sole breadwinner. Dia boleh la kot buat bisnes dari rumah ke jual barang online ke...pape ke yg blh dari rumah. 


And yet again, benda mcm ni boleh compromise, boleh dibawak bincang. 


I'm okay with anything, nak kerja ke tak ke...terpulang~ 


Then at least I'm planning on solat berjemaah, maghrib n isyak la. with me being the imam (obviously) 


Sebab, kalau nak isteri n anak2 dengar cakap, suami kene selalu mengimamkan solat jemaah bersama, gitu. 


Then, mengaji lepas solat. Me and le wife semak la bacaan anak2...(segan jgk tulis pasal mende ni) 


Then a short tazkirah by me to them, hasil catatan dari kelas pengajian yang aku follow sikit2 dari mrsm dulu and yang setiap hari Ahad ade tu kat tabung haji bayan lepas...kene la ada bekalan untuk Akhirat jgk ye dak? 


And for the wife pulak, I'm sure she'll be a beautiful one in my eyes. Tak kesah la dia macam mane pun...tak awesome, boleh diajar jadi awesome. Tak reti english boleh diajar pandai english....tak reti troll, aku ajar dia cara nak troll org. Haha! *y so serious?* 


In short, aku akan bimbing dia duniawi dan ukhrawi, insya Allah. 


Anyway, tak kesahlah pandai ape ke tak pandai ape ke...nobody's perfect. We both can learn something from each other. That's what sharing lives meant, well, at least from one angle. 


We can see things from different perspectives and angles to the extent that the possibilities are endless. 

But one thing's for sure la...I'll treat her with respect. I'll be loyal, because I know how it felt when someone cheated on you.....saket sangat. 


So...that's all for now rasenye. Banyak lagi impian aku tentang how my family nanti...tapi terasa segan pulak la nak tulis panjang lagi...hehe. 


Spent quite some time on this post....dekat 2 jam rasanya. Sat lagi kene pi assignment at 2pm. That's another thing. Tak nak off topic sebab post ni special. *mengada* 
Segalanya boleh, insya Allah suatu hari nanti.


Whoever you are...


I'll wait for you to start the journey to Jannah with me nanti, Insya Allah. Amin. 


Ends. 

Dari Dalam Aku

In this blog of mine, I never reveal my human side, yet.

What I'm implying by saying 'human side' is that, I never reveal these things because I think that they are quite personal, as per se relationships, personal opinions towards certain things regarding feelings and emotions...

I felt that those things are irrelevant metaphorically, as I tried to separate or distance myself away from ever writing things about them.

But now, I guess time has changed us all. Small children will grow into an adult one day...

So goes to immature minds, they will somehow through time and experience, change into a mature one, regardless of the time taken to achieve it.

As human as I am, yes,  I do have feelings, too.

Yes, I can see where this is heading. But I don't think it's wrong to still cling on and hoping, even though its prospect is bleak, but there is still that small ray of hope in the distance, that fuels this dream.

I've always been serious in things like this. It's just that I felt that the people around me never taken me seriously.

I am not putting them at fault, it's a repercussion to this image that I have built around me. The ever happy and funny person, cracking jokes and trolling around at its best among his friends and acquaintances.

And yet, there is still that person inside of me behind this mask that yearns affection, that yearns for attention and the four letter "L" word, that yearns for "the one".

Never mind that, I will wait. For good things come to those who are patient. Yes, I'll be patient regarding this matter. Yes, I will and I am able to wait.

Let's just see how this goes.

Joe Brooks-Holes Inside

Ends.